Over the weekend I realized something…I am not ready to give up this fight.
As much as it hurts my pride to say this, my psychologist is right, I am not ready to have surgery. My lack of preparation is no one’s fault but my own; I haven’t been giving it my all. Surprisingly enough, I feel this is the case in most aspect of my life; I have so much going on that I am just struggling to stay afloat. I need to remember that while I may have a lot going on, God won’t give me any more than I can handle.
So the plan is this. From this moment I am committing myself - mind, body and soul, to preparing myself for surgery. I will complete food journals as needed and I will focus on making changes to my life that will prepare me for the changes that come with have surgery. With that said, I think I will also need to apply these same principles to other aspects of my life. My whole life, especially in school, I have never challenged myself. I have accepted being “average.” Well no more…I am not an average person, I am so much more than that.